Disclaimer: The author reminds the readers not to read between the lines anymore because this blog entry has no room for guessing. And oh, he wishes you to help him sew back his tattered clothes, and amputated appendages.

"Hindi naman ikaw N", (You're out of this N). And so it comes down to the two of us. We were being accused of participating in an alleged conspiracy, err, in an unheard conspiracy. We were being labeled cabal, and deliberately called traitors. Traitors who don't know the value of reciprocity according to his claims. Well, maybe he should think first of the offensive words coming out of his vile mouth. I was cursed for no apparent reason. I was cursed because of someone else's paranoia. I mean, two hours before this commotion happened, I was just doing my job. A job that he has long been prying on, been forever meddling, treating me like an imbecile incapable of working alone. Now, he is shouting out loud that I am not doing my job, that I was inefficient, that I was the sly fugitive who turned his back against him. I could not believe he would utter those words.

Maybe he was forgetting some important things. I was not the one who pretended and knowingly assumed authority in the first place. I was not the one who stood before a number of people and kept blabbering I was still the legitimate almighty.

Never, in my life, did I dream of becoming the all-powerful being whose words serves as the absolute prevailing law. Never did I prefer to condescend among my colleagues (instead of working altogether) then later call them inefficient behind their back. Never did I reason out unintelligently before my superior and insist on wronged belief. And most importantly, never did I dupe my colleagues by intentionally hiding the truth from them.

Perhaps he couldn’t believe (or still refuses to) that people can live by their conviction. And not everything in life revolves around personal motives and politics.

He is hypocrisy incarnate.

From this day forward, I shall put this concern way over my head and promise myself never to come near this person again, lest I might get lured and swayed by the devil's tongue.

If there’s one person who got stabbed and minced down to microscopic bits, it was I. I who trusted you— the gullible person you tricked.

At least now I know that I live by my conviction — rightful, unselfish and unbigoted conviction. And I’m not politicking about it.

***
How I wish every person sick with delusion in this damned world would suddenly wake up from their illness and be better than ever.

Monday, July 16, 2002

Our house is getting festered by termites. Those fucking wood-nibblers that pose great threat of munching down our house. Those tiny monsters that could, and would (Oh, god, please) pulverize and powder our century-old house down to the tiniest bit. My dad is already growing peeved and problematic because they seem to be persistent. So, for the last two days, my dad is busy spraying Solignom all over the place to the point that I get squeamish each time I go near our living room. He sprayed so much of that pesticide that the entire house is cloying with nauseous chemicals.

One-fourth of all the wood furnishings were taken out. The infested cornices were already dumped outside to rot and decay. But before they were thrown out, my father, of course, did a couple of spraying just to make sure not a single termite would survive (I doubt it). I thought that the colony was small, but I was wrong, very wrong. As I approached to have a closer look, I saw that the floor, where most of the cornices were laid, was crawling with these hungry predators. I could not imagine that they can multiply that fast.

On the other hand, these insects are quite interesting actually. Not only their queen spawns hundreds of broods in a rapid rate, but also, amongst other closely related species, which are ants, wasps, bees that can also form colonies, termites are the only ones capable of forming true societies. (Let’s just say they're luckier 'cause they don't have to put up with the crap we're going through, like politics. Ugh.)

Moreover, they are referred to as the "white ants" because of their semblance and similar life cycles and habits to the common ant. They both have sets of workers, soldiers, supplementary reproductives, and a king and a queen, which stand as the primary reproductives. In case you're wondering what supplementary reproductives do, they practically sit and wait until new colonies are formed or in case the queen fails to accomplish her duties (this fact must've been invaded by the "beauty pageant" way of thinking, huh Jason?